Sawdust City Brewing Co. Midland's Best Maple Butter Tart Ale

I know... I know.

I ask myself the same thing.

Why do I so often feel the need to sample beers that blend the seriousness of Ale with the soul rending characteristics of desserts?

Butter Tarts for those asking "wtf?", are as I understand things, a uniquely Canadian pastry. They are, as one might deduce, a tart. The filling being a sticky mass ranging in consistency from runny syrup to really thick, well... syrup made of sugar and butter that resembles caramel but not quite. Throw "maple" into the mix and you can nearly hear the neighbour kid bouncing pucks off his parents garage door. Generally adorned with raisins and nuts they are the stuff of farmers markets and autumn family get-togethers north of most of the world's longest international border. Zip it Alaska.

Crystal clear orange amber with a quickly dissolving head. The Ale soaks the mouth with maple syrup sweetness, surprisingly civilized and orderly ale malts. The cheat codes of the butter rum, vanilla, maple and caramel extracts don't offend. Impressively and even unexpectedly the overall quality is very much "butter tart".

I can't imagine drinking more than one at a sitting. But again I am not one who ventures beyond two of anything in one sitting very often.

Well done Sawdust.

73/100

Omnipollo Zodiak

What's up with the every chicken? A matte black and vibrant green label bearing alien heads...

Described simply as an India Pale Ale this version of Omnipollo makes civilized promises...

While pouring it is clear that all bets are off. Cloudy to the verge of impersonating yellow milk it is obvious that this isn't a garden variety IPA. Bearing more than a passing resemblance to a yeasty sourdough starter with an active head of billowy white fermented grains.

Aroma of grapefruity-citrusy-goodness accent the classic and even sophisticated IPA palate. It's actually, I like it. It's funny how you can expect one thing then seem to be experiencing the opposite before finally being shown that the initial expectation was pretty bang on. Call it an ironic irony.

83/100

Pint Purists Brewing Company The Answer Helles Lager

Touted by the brewery as throwback German style this beer delivers on the promise. Ever so slightly hazy, The Answer is unmistakably Lager. Bright golden with an airy linen white head. The nose is treated to malt sweetness and the mouth to classic Lager bitterness.

Mated with a lovingly assembled tuna-melt sandwich and a pair of dill pickles lunch might become a big deal.

Handily packed in pint cans The Answer is clearly suited to the question of what beer to stock as an all-purpose go-to for friends and family whose tastes tend toward the macro-beers.

80/100

Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery Juicy Ass IPA

Begging your pardon? The clever crew at Flying Monkeys are among my most endeared brewers. Their irreverent approach to craft beverage erm, crafting has always been reflected in the artistic license of the packaging. In this case they've opted to alienate the elder element of the craft beer drinkerage with their nearly vulgar irreverence. On the other hand who isn't honestly interested in the occasional "Juicy Ass"? You're among friends. Be honest. You love it.

Unfiltered. Honey hued. Galloping with six and a half points of booze. Classic IPA tones like pine, citrus and passion fruit (are least according to the Monkeys' marketing department).

I don't know if Babe Ruth always hit a homerun or if Jordan always drained the game winner, I suppose everyone is going to have an average day.

While initially titillating, "Juicy Ass" is an average day for the Monkeys.

77/100

Cameron's Brewing Company Where the Buffalo Roam Barley Wine

Barley wine is a personal favorite. Nonetheless. Who doesn't love the idea of a tall can inside a small box?

Barley wine is simply a very strong beer. Aged in bourbon barrels this ought to be amusing. Amusing for Oakville anyway.

Barley wine is lovely stuff. This one is among a fit crowd. Sweet, caramelly, with the loving bitterness of a step-mother's affection.

If you don't like it you can always find refuge among the thirteen separate hundredths of amorous drinking alcohols.

Personally it confounds me that barley wines aren't more popular. Perhaps it's due to the nausea confronted by those whose exuberance leads to overconsumption.

74/100

Muskoka Brewery Shinnicked Stout

According to the label; "Shinnicked" describes the breathless and mildly shocking chill that inspires the bones during a nocturnal dip in a northern lake.

A stout brewed with coffee... Ya don't say.

The label advises that the purpose for this particular blend of barley and beans is to warm up the late night, freshwater lake bathers of Ontario's cottage country. And on that score, mission accomplished. I am inclined to note that the idea of a crackling bonfire on a granite shoreline would be a marvellous accompaniment to this stout.

Strong coffee and stout bitterness combine comfortably without sending you off to bed prematurely. It's nice to think that there's a high quality local stout built with equally locally roasted Muskoka coffee that awaits the cottage-going crowd for at least the near future.

78/100

Omnipollo Pro Dro Mus

"Graham Cracker Chocolate Chunk Caramel Bar Stout". 

Unsettling. 

Pours like backyard maple syrup. Blacker than a veteran's humour. The head is darker than many "dark" beers. Hold the phone. 10.5% alc. /vol. 

Wait. 

What? This beer is plainly psychotic. 

Who combines "Chocolate Chunk Caramel" with decimal of ethanol? 

Who?

The nose is invited with the comforting aromas of your grandmother's kitchen at Thanksgiving. The syrup treachery of the liquid itself invites sipping. Then, three sips in you discover that gulping tastes better. Three and a half sips in your heart sinks as the sinister burn of the booze warms the inner lining of the esophagus and your imagination convinces you that the mad brewer is giggling maniacally... Somewhere. 

With a sinking feeling you're convinced that you are hurting yourself.

Overall it is traumatic.

52/100