Saturday, December 30, 2017

Cameron's Brewing Company Where the Buffalo Roam Barley Wine

Barley wine is a personal favorite. Nonetheless. Who doesn't love the idea of a tall can inside a small box?

Barley wine is simply a very strong beer. Aged in bourbon barrels this ought to be amusing. Amusing for Oakville anyway.

Barley wine is lovely stuff. This one is among a fit crowd. Sweet, caramelly, with the loving bitterness of a step-mother's affection.

If you don't like it you can always find refuge among the thirteen separate hundredths of amorous drinking alcohols.

Personally it confounds me that barley wines aren't more popular. Perhaps it's due to the nausea confronted by those whose exuberance leads to overconsumption.

74/100

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Muskoka Brewery Shinnicked Stout

According to the label; "Shinnicked" describes the breathless and mildly shocking chill that inspires the bones during a nocturnal dip in a northern lake.

A stout brewed with coffee... Ya don't say.

The label advises that the purpose for this particular blend of barley and beans is to warm up the late night, freshwater lake bathers of Ontario's cottage country. And on that score, mission accomplished. I am inclined to note that the idea of a crackling bonfire on a granite shoreline would be a marvellous accompaniment to this stout.

Strong coffee and stout bitterness combine comfortably without sending you off to bed prematurely. It's nice to think that there's a high quality local stout built with equally locally roasted Muskoka coffee that awaits the cottage-going crowd for at least the near future.

78/100

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Omnipollo Pro Dro Mus

"Graham Cracker Chocolate Chunk Caramel Bar Stout". 

Unsettling. 

Pours like backyard maple syrup. Blacker than a veteran's humour. The head is darker than many "dark" beers. Hold the phone. 10.5% alc. /vol. 

Wait. 

What? This beer is plainly psychotic. 

Who combines "Chocolate Chunk Caramel" with decimal of ethanol? 

Who?

The nose is invited with the comforting aromas of your grandmother's kitchen at Thanksgiving. The syrup treachery of the liquid itself invites sipping. Then, three sips in you discover that gulping tastes better. Three and a half sips in your heart sinks as the sinister burn of the booze warms the inner lining of the esophagus and your imagination convinces you that the mad brewer is giggling maniacally... Somewhere. 

With a sinking feeling you're convinced that you are hurting yourself.

Overall it is traumatic.

52/100

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

"The Matador Version 2.0 El Toro Bravo" Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery

Right off the hop (pun incidental) the talented primates in Barrie who somehow manage to contain their rampant creativities to occasionally cram some beer into some bottles and put labels on them, impressively manage to do so with exceeding success. 

FREE BONUS TIP: If you spot a colorful box that could contain a wine bottle emblazoned with the words "Flying Monkeys", buy it. Don't hesitate. You need the adventure.

This is one of these magical sort of boxed bottles. El Toro Bravo is presented to the consumer housed within a shiny cardboard box flanked by a brilliant reproduction of a "toro" apparently in oil on canvas by artist Bruce Chalmers. As is par for the Monkeys boxed beer offerings there is a goodly amount of reading available should one be so inclined. 

The beer itself is typically atypical. A rye brew sporting a 10.1% endowment of yeasty metabolite aged on a bed of spanish cedar. Who comes up with this madness? 

It's dark. But not black by any means. More mahogany than brown. The flavors are cataclysmic. Wood, leather, Cuban cigars, poetry, cedar, motorcycles in the rain, evergreen needles, solid brass fixtures, adventure, debauchery, tall tales, toffee and fond memories crowd the palate. If Hemingway himself were reincarnated as a craft beer here he is. Best consumed late in the evening with good friends, lest you become inclined to run with bulls or attempt some equally hazardous game meant for a younger man.

Brilliant execution. Madness or genius? 

100/100

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Wellington Brewery "Frost Quake"

On a bright and positively frigid Sunday afternoon when the thermometer at my house hadn't crept above -23 degrees Celsius I felt a craving for a living room brewery tour. So bravely pulling on a pair of jeans and some big black winter boots I drove the frosty five minutes to my local liquor purveyor. A digital sign on a sunny hill top along the way displays a hopeful "-18.0C". It's cold out.

The name "Frost Quake" in large letters seems to strike a contradiction in my imagination. Today is the perfect day for a real frost quake, temperatures tonight are predicted to drop closer to -30C, and yet as a beer named for an icy cold weather phenomenon, it seems like something one might seek on a hot summer day. The large, dark, swing top bottle seals the deal. 

Once again safe and warm at home I pop the big brown bottle of "bourbon barrel aged barley wine" and pour a modest 5 ounces into a snifter. 

Phenomenal stuff. Perfect for the weather. Deep chestnut brown. Ever so slightly syrupy, but sweet and molassesy enough. The alcohol content is burly at 9.8% but it's well camouflaged by the galloping malt. The barrel aging has brought the elements of this barley wine together like a symphony of flavor and aroma. 

I'd happily recommend this to a friend. In fact I already have! Enjoy with someone special to turn a icy cold day into a warm celebration of masterful brewing.


Sunday, December 8, 2013

La Trappe Tripel



Before even taking the top off of this tall Dutch beauty I'm struck by what this bottle involves. The contents were brewed by men of silence in the Netherlands before being sent across an ocean and delivered to a shop in my small town in rural Ontario. And it's still remarkably fresh. The only judgment I'm willing to pass on these glorious circumstances is that this arrangement cannot go on indefinitely. We have to break some serious new ground in how we operate as a global society for this level of luxury to persist. Meanwhile, there is beer of remarkable taste to be had so indulge!


La Trappe is a sample of what is becoming my favorite style. Trappist ales are powerfully alcoholic, but more than that they present some of the most nuanced palates and exquisite crafting available in the beer world. There must be something of value in being able to focus on a task in silence.


Cloudy, voluptuous, yeasty. Try it. If you don't love it send me your leftovers.


97/100

Saturday, December 7, 2013

County Durham Signature Ale



"British Style" the label confidently proclaims. I've been hurt before. The full bottle shrink-wrap label is a mite tacky. One of the many things I loved about the UK during a trip several years ago was the local ale. Not overly gaseous, full flavored without being brash. Let's see what Durham County Brewing Company means when they say "British Style".


Tart to the point of nearly sour, but softly effervescent and refreshing. The head and the color have an air of high breeding about them. In the end I'd have to agree, British Style is what this is, not quite the genuine article but not Coors Light either.


77/100