Criminal Manifesto

 I regret to inform you ladies and gentlemen that I have a crime to report!

It is a sad and tragic event, indeed. An infanticide of sorts. The Chocolate Manifesto; one of this reporter’s favorite all time beers, has been unceremoniously robbed of the pomp and circumstance we had been accustomed to and to which the beverage itself honestly warrants!

From inception this incredible brew had always been presented in a slope-shouldered glass bottle encased in a gilded box. Today however, it breaks one’s heart to find the lunatic primates at Flying Monkey’s Brewery have cast honour aside and canned this magnificent elixir in shrink-wrapped aluminum.

Still the beer itself is AMAZING.

99.9/100

Hop City Brewing Company 8th Sin Black Lager

Hate to say it here but this is probably my least favorite style of beer. Well okay, mass market American swill aside I should say. BLACK Lager. I like lager. I love dark beers. Somehow however I struggle to find merit in dark lagers. No accounting for taste and all that.

Hop City makes some very impressive beer, so I will crack the dark, dank vault of my mind with optimism.

Nah.

Nah.

What is with dark lager? Where abundant, toasted malts enrich ales in ways celestial the same treatment for lager leaves me with sensations of "disappointed", "disappointment",  "disappointing", and "burnt".

55/100

Railway City Brewing Company Orange Creamsic Ale

Before you get all judgey-judgey; be warned. Railway City is a brewer with chops. Fuh reel.

I just have to glance at the ingredient list due to an overwhelming curiosity. Orange zest. Real vanilla beans. Oats.

A proud white sponge of head caps a typically foggy wheat beer. The nose telltales traces of orange and vanilla. Pleasingly smooth and refreshing. I imagine this would make a fine summertime cottage beer. Perfect for sunny days on a deck or a warm evening roasting hotdogs over a bonfire.

79/100

Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery 12 Minutes to Destiny Raspberry Hibiscus Lager

Located in a particularly shady district of Milky Way, the Universe, Infinity; Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery has a strong history of producing surprisingly good beer.

Tasting an awful lot like raspberries and an awful little like beer; I fear the Monkeys have descended into the brewing abyss of trying to make something a millennial might drink.

Disappointed. But not to worry Monkeys, I still love you maniacs.

Perhaps as a change up during a long, hot summer day of drinking beer outdoors or while looking for a dimpled white ball. It's not likely to offend, but neither is it likely to impress.

62/100

Left Field Brewery Greenwood IPA

I have heard good things about these folks. Another micro from the international hotbed of craft brewing of Ontario, Canada. Seriously ladies and gentlemen, beer tours in Ontario should really be an international attraction. The beer itself is luxuriously cloudy with a gorgeous thick foam head of bold white.

If you are an IPA fan pull up a stool and welcome to the family. This stuff is lovely. Everything about Greenwood reminds me of a milkshake for some reason. Marvellous citrus hops plated atop a creamy smoothness that is just gorgeous. Imagine if you will a beer that is trying its best to be a milkshake but is simply too powerful and beautifully a beer to really be anything but.

Fabulous stuff. Thanks Jarrett.

98/100

Verhaeghe Vichte Duchesse De Bourgogne

Another beautiful Belgian. Deep copper. Delightfully sour Flemish vapors.

Crikey Moses!

An entirely unexpected mouthful of fresh ripe berries and sour, but not too sour, cherries. Pardon my schoolyard French but fuck me this is brilliant. The dour Flemish parlour maid (or duchess perhaps) with the the crow is a cunning distraction that might well keep the curious beer drinker at bay. Despite containing no fruit, the berries seduce the palate. Despite containing hops only the most discerning drinker would spot it.

If you see a bottle of Duchess; buy, borrow or steal it. It is worth it.

That is all.

100/100

Bobcaygeon Brewing Company Firestarter Saison

Bobcaygeon is a small town in the stunning cottage country northeast  of Toronto in Canada. It's also the title of a popular song by Canada's hometown band The Tragically Hip. So a Canadian microbrewery sporting such a loaded name might be accused of resting on the novelty of the name alone. This example of the brewers offerings though lays waste to that idea.

Saison style beers are traditionally lower on the booze count than this is at 6.8%. The early origins of saison beers being the farms south of Brussels; the history of the style is marked with broad inconsistencies in flavour and appearance. Being Belgian though,  you can count on Saison style beers being both entertaining and satisfying.

The brewers at Bobcaygeon have executed pretty well on a saison in a can. It's golden, happily effervescent and presents the spicy, fruity palate of aroma and flavours found in the saison portfolio.

Not a beer many might want to chain-quaff under most circumstances. Expect clovey, ginger vanilla and candied fruit. Tossing a handful of Firestarters in the cooler to mix things up is a perfect way to mix things up for your next get together.

70/100